B! I have so much to say about your chat about Secret Lives of Mormon wives. I’m no longer Mormon but was for 34 years:
• Amanda mentioned that clearly Whitney could Google about sex even if her parents wouldn’t talk about it and that’s not exactly true! Even reading about sex or going to the internet is a no-no. We were told not to go to other sources about gospel issues, and sexual purity is one of those! learned about masterbation at 14 in a youth lesson from my Bishop. I have so much to say about this
• Central and South America is the top destination for Mormon missionaries because it’s easier to convince those in poverty to join the religion, so it is super common to have Mormons from Equador, Brazil, Argentina etc. and for them to come to Utah
• Mormon doctrine does not a say anything about no caffeine, it actually says “no hot drinks” which is interpreted to be coffee and tea (but hot chocolate is ok 😆)
• Ketamine is only ok with Dr order 🙄
• The blessing commentary by Amanda is 💯percent true. My best friend asked the bishop if she could just HOLD her baby for the blessing and not be part of the actual circle or prayer and was denied
• The female Mormon community was furious when this show was being promoted because “doesn’t represent them.” Ok so from the promos, that is true because while swinging is prominent, I wouldn’t say it’s that common…..BUT, now that I’m actually watching the show this is absolutely an accurate representation of the nuances being a young Mormon wife. Every single aspect of it. Demi actually said it wasn’t supposed to be about Mormon wives, just TikTok, but now I completely understand why producers called it what they did.
• There are two momtok girls who were told by their husbands’ families they couldn’t be on the show because their father in laws are high up in the Mormon church (I am friends with one of the dude’s ex-wives.)
If anyone questions whether or not the patriarchy is still “a thing” they are dead wrong—every. Single. Aspect. Of. Life is impacted by the patriarchy. Women can’t even be assigned a role or volunteer in the church without a “worthiness interview” with a male leader in the bishopric.
Well that’s disturbing and archaic. It’s a very interesting show to watch and I hope we get a season 2. And hot chocolate is ok? They all just pick and choose these rules don’t they?
Where are the religions where the women are in charge, have the control and the men are the second class citizens?
Demi (I think it was Demi) said something very interesting to me when they were in Vegas, after Jen forgave her husband. She said “we are expected to get married and have kids before our brains are even developed”. A truer sentence could not have been said and sums up the Mormon culture to me. It’s sad (I’m being gentle by saying that).
Thank you to whoever wrote this in! I’ve always been so fascinated with other religions and how similar or different they are from mainstream Christianity
Why do we give any kind of attention to shows that minimize and control women?
I grew up in Colorado and there were Mormons. It’s a weird religion (what isn’t!) filled with really nice pleasant people. They tend to be the nicest people to outsiders – but you’ll never be an insider or get close to someone unless you’re Mormon too.
There is a book called Under the Banner of Heaven (true crime based – but has an easily readable history of the Mormon church, its founding and its tenants).
I find it incredibly oppressive and scary belief systems – and soooo not empowering to women.
I
I do not like to bash religion bc everyone has a right to believe what they want. That being said? This is like Scientology, which isn’t a religion. Jen’s husband is an ASS, Demi is my favorite, Taylor next. Whitney? Girl, bye. My heart broke for some of them and others I wonder how they manage to be so self assured when they have been repressed.
As someone who was raised in a similar culture/religion (JW) this show hit hard. So many similarities. Women are expected to be servants to their husbands who they married at 18. It’s all so backwards – sad
@nannerall
Actually, no, you are not supposed to pick and choose rules but they believe that their Modern-Day Prophet has a direct line to God and receives revelation for His people (hence Latter-Day Saints) so what that means is you do what the prophet says, until he or the next one says something different
– Joseph Smith said polygamy was good
– It was then banned decades later by another prophet because “God” told him it was no longer ok (really, the government said it was illegal and they’d lose their tax exemption 😆) It’s still considered doctrine though for eternity
– At one point there was an apostle who mentioned caffeine wasn’t allowed, including soda, and while it was still “allowed” for temple worthiness interviews, BYU did not allow it on campus (I was there 2000-2004.). It wasn’t until 10 years ago, maybe less, they started selling it on campus but the leadership decided it was ok. So now, coffee and tea still not ok, soda and hot cocoa totally good. No smoking anything and no alcohol or drugs, unless prescribed by a doctor (and oh, how many Mormons are doctors)
– More controversial “rules” that were put in place since I’ve been alive: children who had a gay parent were not allowed to be baptized until 18 (standard age is 8 years old); being homosexual was considered apostasy and LGBTQ+ members were being excommunicated although some bishops didn’t execute that rule; LGBTQ+ members are not allowed to work in any calling with children (this is a NEW rule, like within the last year!); women were not allowed to pray publicly at certain meetings
And don’t forget…if you do not pay 10% of your income to the church, you are not allowed inside the temple including for family weddings (my friends and sisters couldn’t come to my wedding because they were not Mormon or not “worthy” enough for a temple recommend, and that includes everything from drinking coffee, cheating on your spouse, not paying tithing, to murder…)
and yes, many Mormons are very nice. Service to others is a huge priority. They tend to not swear. The rules about alcohol and smoking are justified as it keeps them health, but ironically desserts, potlucks, and soda are consumed at ridiculous amounts.
I remember two very cute Mormon boys in highschool – I knew I didn’t have a chance because 1. I was not Mormon 2. I def wanted to make out etc….and that wasn’t going to be happening. So I just enjoyed my sinful behavior with other guys !!